What is intimacy? Real intimacy is a journey into the unknown. Relating to another of the opposite sex faces us with the “great other side” of ourselves as a well… a whole range of unexplored qualities and dimensions of our being, beyond the familiar “me”. In confronting ourselves with the great unknown inside of us, it sharpens our senses and calls on us to grow and develop in ways we cannot foresee.
Intimacy is a way to become more fully alive. It helps us to bring forth the goodness and strength already present within us. Instead of looking at a relationship as a place of shelter, we have a gift of the relationship to open us up to a power within us. It wakes us up in those areas where we are asleep and where we avoid naked, raw, direct contact with life. This way of looking at a relationship, this real intimacy, commits us to movement and change. Providing a forward direction by showing us exactly where we need to grow the most. Couplehood is about becoming the best possible people we can be. Maslow calls this self-actualization. Knowing whom we are, how to truly love, and how to be of service to humankind. And through intimacy and love, we can attain this.
So dreaming that love alone, romantic love, will save us, solve all our problems or provide a steady state of bliss or security, only keeps us stuck in wishful thinking. For deep love to flourish, for relationships to flourish we need to see couplehood in a different way —’a series of opportunities for developing greater awareness, discovering deeper truth, and becoming more fully human.
When we open ourselves to these growth opportunities and possibilities, relationships become an incredible place for intense growth. In separation, meaning individuation, alone and not in the couplehood, we are unfinished. To become an actualized being means discovering our fullness and learning to live from it. This involves bringing forth more of who we really are and becoming more available to whatever life presents.
Therefore, intimate relationships inspire our hearts to open while at the same time activating all the pain and confusion of our contracts to work out life together, our karmic entanglements. By karma, I mean the conditioned personality patterns that narrow our perceptions and keep us asleep. Starting from birth we accumulate obstacles to our growth in many different ways.
So this workshop is a step toward opening the heart to True Intimacy. Below we will discuss:
1. Essentials of Intimacy
- What are projections?
- Re romancing the couplehood
2. Exercises to further our Intimacy