Secrets of Love

Fall in Love All Over Again
Make a conscious decision to be in Love.
The more you act as if you are in love,
The more you will feel like you are.

Remember the Good Times
Treat your partner like you did in the beginning of the relationship.
Make a list of all the things you used to enjoy doing together and add any new fantasies to the list.
Plan for them and make them happen.

Help Your Partner Feel Loved More and Secure in Your Love
That will allow your partner to open up to you and express feelings and ideas without fear of being attacked or judged.
Compliment, praise, and give a hug.
Small gestures make the grandest statements.

Don’t Make Unilateral Decisions
You’re a team in many ways, so act like one.
Check in and make decisions together about things large and small.
Be willing to compromise.

Be Present
Train your mind to stay in the moment and stop hiding yourself in the past or the future.

Boost Your Compatibility
Couples in crisis focus on all the ways they are different, whereas those who are in love zero-in on their similarities.
Build compatibility by taking turns planning activities to do together.
If you don’t like your partners’ choice… don’t complain, it’s your turn next.

Do Not Place Blame
Replace blame and criticism with solutions and tenderness.
Problem-solve together.
Sit close, hold hands, and touch each others’ face or hair.

Be playful.
When was the last time you laughed together?
Rent a comedy movie to tickle your funny bone.

Plan for Sex
Spontaneity is great, but smart couples know that good sex doesn’t just happen.
Like everything else, it takes time and planning.

Fact Find… Don’t Mind-Read
You may think you know, but you can’t assume.
You may believe he should know, but that’s not fair.
Always clear up misinterpretations and misunderstandings to make sure they don’t throw you both off course.

Fight Fair By appointment only
Schedule a limited time to discuss a problem and confine your comments to that issue only. It’s easier to relax and feel free to enjoy each other when you know you won’t be ambushed by a litany of complaints and criticisms.

Prepare for Checkouts
Even in the closest marriage, everyone needs time alone.
Don’t take it personally and don’t make each other feel guilty.
Regroup if you need to, spiritually and emotionally.
Just be sure to tell each other when you are checking out (max. . . only a day)…and when you’re checking back in.

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